Rewrites–Winter Shadows, from yesterday

winter shadows

So one interesting piece I’m noticing about putting up these snippets from the WIP is that with both of them so far, I’ve noticed glaring errors I’ve had to correct. With the first one, I had to specify that Diana’s headset had limited vocal com access settings–of course if you’re wearing a headset, you’ve got com ability!

Yesterday’s blooper had Diana holding a blaster just as the skimmer she was in took off for high-G evasive maneuvers. Um. Yeah. Oooops.

All just a part of the revision process. Here’s what the revised version of yesterday’s scene looks like:


Movement. Her mother put the tablet down steadily, precisely, locking it into secured position. The slow, careful motion alerted Diana.

“What’s up?”

Her mother picked up a blaster. “Arm up, Diana. Incoming–and they aren’t friendly.”

The automatic security belts clamped down solidly across her body. Diana reached for her blaster, heart pounding in her ears as she activated the disabling rounds, then secured it on the scabbard locked into the arm of her seat. With incoming, evasive maneuvers would likely follow. She didn’t want to hold onto that blaster when it happened. “Any idea who they are?”

Sarah shook her head. “They refuse to ID themselves. We’re going to try to outrun them, but they fit the profile of Landreth skimmers. Not the PAZ.”

Maybe they’re coming to help– Diana dismissed that notion quickly. Not if they wouldn’t ID themselves.

Francis spit out a series of code phrases she couldn’t identify over her com. The com suddenly went silent, dead silent. Then their skimmer shot straight up, pulling some Gs and pushing Diana down hard in her seat. It banked hard and tight, and then accelerated, faster than typical for most skimmers. Of course. Mom would have the highest performance skimmer she could get her fingers on, then mod it up.

An impact knocked them sideways. The skimmer rolled. Red lights flashed in the passenger cabin as a warning buzzer screamed. Clamps snaked across Diana’s forehead, thighs and arms as the skimmer rolled again. Diana made herself breathe. In. Out. In. Out. She forced herself to relax against her restraints, remaining loose in case of further impact. Tense muscles would make things worse.

The skimmer stabilized, plunging down hard. The buzzer stopped blaring and the lights held steady.

What the–? Did Landreth just shoot at us?

The skimmer leveled and rocketed off faster than before. Her restraints eased slightly but did not release.

“Decoy. Us. Lower altitude. May evade,” her mother snapped out tightly against the pressure pushing hard on them. “Other. Team. Priority.”

“Got. It.” Diana forced out. “Sorry.”

“Bastard,” Sarah growled. “Not. You. Parker. Shouldn’t. Be. Necessary.”


And now back to writing….

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